Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sensitive?














OK I know this is weird to say, but I think I'm what they call a "sensitive." I have had premonitions for so long I can't even count the number of times. I have had feelings about people that I have never met before only to learn that my feelings had validation.

I know it sounds so weird. It sounds that to me. I don't know how to explain it except that every time I read about the psychic ability I get a feeling that I belong. It is not crazy like I see dead people" or anything. I just get these feelings about things and let me tell you I am usually right. If not all the time. Even when I start to doubt my feelings about people I find out months down the road that I was right all along.

I have had feelings about friends, family, even pets. Is that strange?

I seem to always know when someone is about to pass or as they say "cross over."
One instance is: I was up at college, and I had a dream. (It usually starts there) I dreamt that I was in a house with my mom, dad and some of my other family, I remember being in a room waiting. I had a very sad feeling come across me. Suddenly a man came in in wearing a white coat and smiling. He had a leash in his hands. At the end of that leash was my dog, Biscuit. Biscuit was younger, strong, and almost had a smile on his face. We were all gathered in this room to say goodbye. I didn't understand why, but I said goodbye. After we all hugged him and wished him well, the man in the white coat walked him up the stairs of the house we were in. Both of them looked happy as if they were walking up with purpose.
after I awoke I was so filled with this loss that I was hysterical crying, saying he died. My boyfriend at the time, now husband, held me and was repeating over and over that's it's ok. I couldn't shake this feeling, like he was already gone. I waited till morning and called my mother who was home in New York at the time. She said that Biscuit was still here. He wasn't doing well at the time, but he was the same as he had been. I still felt that I needed to go home. The very next day I drove home. He was there. I thought I was crazy. That night I went out and when I came home, Biscuit was at the door panting very hard. I felt that feeling all over again.
At that moment, I said goodbye to him. I don't know why but I did. I told him that I loved him, he was my best friend. I was an only child, and he was a friend that was always there for me. Loved me, no matter what was going on in my life. Maybe you have to be an only child to explain that feeling.
The next day he was gone.

I also have had a dream that my grandfather died. I was so overwhelmed by this that I felt like I needed to tell him how I felt before it was too late. My grandfather wasn't an easy man to get along with. He was always blaming someone for things that were broken or things missing. He was a character to say the least, but I knew what he felt inside. None of my other cousins could see it or feel it. I knew. I knew he was a good man. He loved, he cared, maybe in ways that they weren't used to, but I knew he loved me. Anyway, I wrote him a letter inside a card. I never did that with him. I needed to say all the things I never said. I don't know what compelled me to do this, but if there is anything I learned, it is if you feel it then do it.

My grandfather got the card, and my grandmother said that he loved it and he cried. He never cried over anything. I have never seen this man give a hug, or show affection to anyone in public. That is just how he was. I knew that about him, and I knew what he felt inside, so it didn't bother me to need that validation.

On my grandmother's birthday that year my grandfather had a heart attack and died. My family was asking me as if I knew this was going to happen. Then that went away.

One year later to the day I had another experience. This time I got the you know what scared out of me.

On that day I had been arguing with my parents. The same as any normal teenager would. Except this time, something was different. I had gotten so mad that I went into my room and shut the door behind me. I sat in front of my closet door and started to cry. All of a sudden I heard a voice that said'"I don't think so." I immediately jumped up and my heart was racing. I thought I was going crazy. I ran downstairs and my parents were there. I didn't even care how mad I was or what we were arguing about. They saw the look of fear on my face. So I asked them, "Did either of you just say the words I don't think so," thinking I had heard it through the vent.

They both looked at me and said, no. My father then turned around and said that is what your grandfather used to say all the time.

I didn't know how to react so I kinda just brushed it off and said whatever, I must be crazy.

I went on doing the things I normally would do. I went to go meet my friend at her job, when I got a page. (Yes, a beeper, at the time that was the only form of communication when someone was out.) I called the number back and it was my aunt telling me that my father was rushed to the hospital. He was having a heart attack. What?

The exact same day, on my grandmother's birthday, that my grandfather had his heart attack, my father was having one himself. Was it also a coincidence that I heard my grandfather's voice that very night?

All I thought of was that voice, "i don't think so." Was my grandfather trying to tell me something?

it just seems that every time I get a feeling about someone or something. It turns out to be true. I always seem to have such symbolic and vivid dreams that I always remember, while other people do not remember anything in their dreams.

I have had buffalo telling me not to take a certain path in a dream, then when I awake I know not to go down a certain road.

I have had numerous feelings about people, that I don't always understand, but get validated days or even months later. I tend to trust me feelings now, even if I don't understand them at the time.

My dream confuse me, and can sometimes thrill me. What does it all mean?

I recently discovered that these feelings have some justification. You can believe or choose not to. These people that have this intuition are called sensitives. They are not psychics, in the "tarot-reading" sense, but are more intertwined with there senses and feelings.

There is a quiz that I saw on about.com that I seemed to answer "yes" to all of the questions. Take the quiz see if you answer yes to any of the questions, or just write back on your thoughts and feelings on the subject. I welcome them all.
Here is the quiz: http://healing.about.com/cs/uc_directory/a/uc_sensitives_j.htm

1 comment:

Amanda said...

What a great post, Kelly! Although these things may make people think you're crazy, never doubt yourself. It's strange but these feelings can always point you in the right direction for things. It's like one of those inexplicable mysteries. But I always think it's important to go with your gut feeling. Thanks for sharing these vivid thoughts! I felt like I was there with you throughout the whole post :)